How You Can Tell When Your Blog’s Bombed Like Hell

Poet laureates for regretful bloggers: Henry Wadsworth Longwinded, Ogden Nashmyteeth and (below right) William Butler Yikes!












It’s happened to me; it’s happened to you.

The blog post that makes you think “What did I do?”
How could I have written something so numb
That even the crickets are politely dumb?

It seemed so terrific as you worked at the screen,
You toiled over wording and set up the scene.
You chose the right keywords and said it’s a bet
That this blog would be your most popular yet.

William Butler Yikes!

But a few hours later, you check on your stats
And notice the bar is stuck in the flats.
WordPress says that your views total two,
You suspect that includes just your mother and you.

So where are your loyal followers lurking?
Maybe they’re busy, or maybe they’re working.
The weather’s been fair, so maybe they’re hiking
Or just maybe this post isn’t to their liking

You hit “refresh,” but it does no good
The bar doesn’t rise like you hoped it would.
But lo! In your inbox, a comment-reply!
Your heart soars with hope – “I’m redeemed!,” you cry.

You click on the link and joyfully wait
For the accolades that will say you’re top rate
But alas, your buoyancy soon gets the boot
With a one-word assessment that says “cute.”

While once you felt brave, you’re no longer smiling;
It’s the blogging equivalent of drinking and dialing.
This blog post has made you uncomfortably stressed
‘Cause it’s freshly excreted, not Freshly Pressed.

27 thoughts on “How You Can Tell When Your Blog’s Bombed Like Hell

  1. I came here expecting something entirely different, but I absolutely love your writing, and the level of truth to it as well. It’s always hard to deal with rejection, but I like to think that in time people will learn to appreciate. Thank you for the post!

  2. Haha! Excellent little poem. I always find myself looking at blogs and saying “why don’t I have that many followers yet?” I have been stuck at 69 for some time now. A favorite number for some, but I wanna hit the triple digits! LOL

  3. Now THIS is a masterpiece 🙂

  4. Gosh, everybody I’m speechless! You like me, you really like me!!!

  5. Nice–and cute. Cute’s good, too. I’ll be back. HF

  6. This one made me laugh out loud — several times!

  7. Hahahahaha 🎯 You scored on this one!

  8. Even for a short Timer like Me.. Yea. I have already had this basic experience. It’s Blogger God’s way of Keeping us working on the craft I think……. BTW you have ordered a supply of the T-shirts haven’t you ? I suspect Many of us will ‘subscribe’ to one, because we have all “Been there, Done tha …………..”

  9. You never cease to amaze me with your gift of writing.

  10. Reblogged this on Deb's Answers and commented:
    This is the first post I’ve ever reblogged. It’s a really great poem, please click through to read the entire post.

  11. Loved today’s blog regarding your children and when you have to let go and let them fly. They never disappoint when you give them a great foundation and love. God bless you for a job well done.

  12. Pingback: Will I ever be Freshly Pressed? « Deb's Answers

  13. I just found this through another blog. It’s brilliant! I can relate (but then again, having only been blogging for just over a month, no one knows I exist yet; my mother doesn’t even read it!).

  14. I still struggle with rhymes, and you, Sandwich Lady, are proving to be quite the inspiration.
    I’m looking forward to more of this!

  15. Thanks, my newfound WordPress friend!
    I hope I won’t disappoint you in the end.
    While not every post will be in rhyme
    My inner Longfellow will emerge in time!

  16. Pingback: Freshly Pressed and sites you’ll love | Project 365 Challenge in 2012

  17. I must show thanks to the writer just for rescuing me from such a crisis. Right after looking out throughout the search engines and seeing tricks which are not productive, I assumed my life was over. Being alive without the presence of strategies to the problems you have sorted out all through this short article is a critical case, as well as ones that would have badly damaged my career if I had not come across your blog post. Your good natural talent and kindness in playing with almost everything was tremendous. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I had not come across such a thing like this. It’s possible to now look ahead to my future. Thank you so much for this reliable and results-oriented help. I will not hesitate to propose the blog to any individual who ought to have tips about this area.

    • Thank you for writing and so glad I could be helpful! We all have tough times getting a blog out regularly and sometimes one is not up to our standards or flops with readers. But even the best actors appear in bad movies sometimes.

  18. This. Is. Just. Amazing.

    I think this is something a lot of new bloggers can relate to – having trouble with really putting your blog out there where a lot of people can discover it.

    Then as you move forward, you realise it’s more about writing what you feel needs to be said. If only only person’s ever read it, it’s okay. Who knows? You may have left a deep impression on that one person.

    It’s all about making a difference, however small it may be.

    I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog! 😀 Keep writing!

    • Niranjana, thank you so much for writing! You have motivated me to update my blog, which I have neglected for too long. (Work deadlines, family, etc., all the usual lame excuses.) Looking forward to checking out your blog as well. Have a great day!

      • Oh, you’re welcome, and you can call me Niru! (A lot shorter to type, isn’t it?) 😀 I’m glad – you write some wonderful posts! But who hasn’t fallen prey to day-to-day life?

        Do drop by! 🙂 You have a great day too!

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